Commissioned Drawing: 'After the Battle'

It's been a long, drawn out, dark and difficult battle but in the aftermath of the morning after, the HiiRagi Army rest in the arms of victory. Except the Recon Unit, they work tirelessly to get the communications up and going. They need to report their triumph to the All Mighty HiiRagi, who never doubted them for a second...



This is a black and white reproduction of an original drawing I did for one of my favourite minions. The original is on hand stained paper to give it an antiquated look. I really like this one, the rendering took frickin' ages but was totally worth it.

In the arena...

I know this comes from an American President but to be honest I really like reading about the Roosevelts and his speeches are amongst the best (take note future dictators of the world). Elenor Roosevelt (his wife) was the genius behind the quote where 'no one can make you feel inferior without your consent' (or something like that). But Teddy's (as I like to call him) quote below... this is the one to take with you to a fight and silence all those weak beings who criticise because they lack the strength or courage to do it themselves.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt
"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

F#@k it.

So after a brief sojourn "campaigning" against ants I have returned to my all consuming destiny of taking over the world and blessing faithful minions all over the world with my genius. Firstly though, we need a bit of a soundtrack. This is one of my favourite songs. I love to crank it up loud where ever I am and shimmy. The film clip is actually pretty good too, it's done with projections on buildings, old skool style. The song is also short, like punk songs of old. 2:20 mins of pure radness. Play it, you know you want to....



Do you like it? What I don't like is that there is a 'safe' version without the swearing. It's better with the swearing. Personally I love to swear, nothing quite makes a sentence rock than a well placed "f#%k". Yep, we're the HiiRagi 'f*@kin' Army. I like it.

HQ: The nasty side of Recon Unit

I know. You can't believe it. Recon Unit? Nasty?! I have warned you, all of you in the past. You all said how cute he was... and I warned you of the diabolical nature of the Recon Unit, and now here it is for all to see. The Recon Unit Assassin:

I can hear you now "but that's just a Recon Unit with a utility belt" but look closer. The belt holds all the details....

First up, a vial of quick acting poison (is there any other kind?)

My personal favourite: the garrote. Looks relatively harmless doesn't it? But in the hands of a trained killer...

Be afraid, be very afraid.

DIY Survival: How to wrestle a crocodile

Recently there was news story about a crocodile wandering the streets of a town and I wondered what the hell you would do if you ran into it. Run is the option most people would take (and if this was a Max Walker book of the same title I probably would) but we are not most people. We are members of the HiiRagi Army and running is not an option. We live by a code of courage, strength and honour and in light of this I thought it my responsibility to help my minions with the best chance of survival: wrestling that goddamn crocodile into submission.

Ok, so here are a number of strategies to take:

1. If you are on land, try to get onto the croc's back and whilst riding like there is no tomorrow (spurs optional)put downward pressure onto it's neck which will force its head down.

2. Cover the croc's eyes, apparently it makes them more sedate. Then tie that bastard up!

3. Now, if it attacks you, go for the eyes and nose first. Use anything you have at hand or your fist, just like Ali.

Yep, that's how you do it sunshine!

4. If the croc has your arm or something else you need to remove from its mouth, again punch it on the snout. Show it you mean business.

5. If, despite your best efforts, it manages to get you in its jaws, you MUST prevent it from shaking you or rolling over with you. This is bad news. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so it doesn't begin shaking and pray to HiiRagi that someone turns up soon. Otherwise just keep punching it. In fact, this seems to be the best option for everything.

Five favourite: Movies from my childhood

As a child of the '80's I grew up with a great range of movies that scarred...sorry... shaped the way I look at the world. My Auntie actually took me to see Blade Runner at the cinema when I was about 6 (I still wonder how she managed to get me in to be honest), which probably explains a lot. To be honest all I can remember is Daryl Hannah's legs coming through the wall and strangling that guy and a lot of rain but still.... I still love these following films, I may not be able to watch them with the same amazement and enthusiasm (sometimes it's best not to go back and watch it all again, in particular MacGuyver. Bad move.) but they're all still rad in their own way.

The Dark Crystal
I just love the skeksis! And the long legged rabbits! And the crazy lady with the world in a dome! AND the puppets all have people in them! This is really a genius production. If you have the DVD with the "Making of" documentary watch it. These days I like it better than the film.



The Goonies
Ah, the old adventure films. Young boys setting out to save their town/home/lives from whatever is threatening them. It has pirates too. And that guy who does the "Hey, you guys!" line. I watched this with someone who was a bit younger than I am and following me getting all excitied about how great a film it was, he just didn't get it. I was incredibly disappointed in him and have not spoken to him since.



Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
No words are needed here.



Labyrinth
Being a bit of a David Bowie fan I can't go past this, or his tight pants. It's a really sweet film apart from those fire swamp creatures. I hate them, I hate them a lot. I like the fox on the Dulux dog.



The Neverending Story
Complete with a rockin' '80's theme tune, I have always loved the idea of books holding secret worlds, let alone one that held Atreyu. Sing it like you mean it.



There are heaps of other films that I have missed out, in fact I know I have. I suspect I should have called this 'Part 1'.

HQ: Art Prints

Recently I was commissioned to do an original artwork for someone, which makes me pretty excited. It also made me realise that I hadn't popped on the blog or shop any of the Art Prints that I have now been selling for a little while at Salamanca. I keep meaning to pop them onto the website but (insert usual excuses here)... Slackness aside, I thought I would share the images with you today...

There are two images (with more to come, of course):

Sunday Outing

The New Toy

Each one is printed onto hand stained paper to make it look all 'old' and vintage and stuff...

And if you're really lucky it comes framed in army green!
Goes perfectly with your Army Jars....