I can hear you now "but that's just a Recon Unit with a utility belt" but look closer. The belt holds all the details....
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
HQ: The nasty side of Recon Unit
I know. You can't believe it. Recon Unit? Nasty?! I have warned you, all of you in the past. You all said how cute he was... and I warned you of the diabolical nature of the Recon Unit, and now here it is for all to see. The Recon Unit Assassin:
I can hear you now "but that's just a Recon Unit with a utility belt" but look closer. The belt holds all the details....
First up, a vial of quick acting poison (is there any other kind?)
My personal favourite: the garrote. Looks relatively harmless doesn't it? But in the hands of a trained killer...
Be afraid, be very afraid.
I can hear you now "but that's just a Recon Unit with a utility belt" but look closer. The belt holds all the details....
Monday, February 4, 2013
DIY Survival: How to wrestle a crocodile
Recently there was news story about a crocodile wandering the streets of a town and I wondered what the hell you would do if you ran into it. Run is the option most people would take (and if this was a Max Walker book of the same title I probably would) but we are not most people. We are members of the HiiRagi Army and running is not an option. We live by a code of courage, strength and honour and in light of this I thought it my responsibility to help my minions with the best chance of survival: wrestling that goddamn crocodile into submission.
Ok, so here are a number of strategies to take:
1. If you are on land, try to get onto the croc's back and whilst riding like there is no tomorrow (spurs optional)put downward pressure onto it's neck which will force its head down.
2. Cover the croc's eyes, apparently it makes them more sedate. Then tie that bastard up!
3. Now, if it attacks you, go for the eyes and nose first. Use anything you have at hand or your fist, just like Ali.
Yep, that's how you do it sunshine!
4. If the croc has your arm or something else you need to remove from its mouth, again punch it on the snout. Show it you mean business.
5. If, despite your best efforts, it manages to get you in its jaws, you MUST prevent it from shaking you or rolling over with you. This is bad news. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so it doesn't begin shaking and pray to HiiRagi that someone turns up soon. Otherwise just keep punching it. In fact, this seems to be the best option for everything.
Ok, so here are a number of strategies to take:
1. If you are on land, try to get onto the croc's back and whilst riding like there is no tomorrow (spurs optional)put downward pressure onto it's neck which will force its head down.
2. Cover the croc's eyes, apparently it makes them more sedate. Then tie that bastard up!
3. Now, if it attacks you, go for the eyes and nose first. Use anything you have at hand or your fist, just like Ali.
4. If the croc has your arm or something else you need to remove from its mouth, again punch it on the snout. Show it you mean business.
5. If, despite your best efforts, it manages to get you in its jaws, you MUST prevent it from shaking you or rolling over with you. This is bad news. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so it doesn't begin shaking and pray to HiiRagi that someone turns up soon. Otherwise just keep punching it. In fact, this seems to be the best option for everything.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Five favourite: Movies from my childhood
As a child of the '80's I grew up with a great range of movies that scarred...sorry... shaped the way I look at the world. My Auntie actually took me to see Blade Runner at the cinema when I was about 6 (I still wonder how she managed to get me in to be honest), which probably explains a lot. To be honest all I can remember is Daryl Hannah's legs coming through the wall and strangling that guy and a lot of rain but still.... I still love these following films, I may not be able to watch them with the same amazement and enthusiasm (sometimes it's best not to go back and watch it all again, in particular MacGuyver. Bad move.) but they're all still rad in their own way.
The Dark Crystal
I just love the skeksis! And the long legged rabbits! And the crazy lady with the world in a dome! AND the puppets all have people in them! This is really a genius production. If you have the DVD with the "Making of" documentary watch it. These days I like it better than the film.
The Goonies
Ah, the old adventure films. Young boys setting out to save their town/home/lives from whatever is threatening them. It has pirates too. And that guy who does the "Hey, you guys!" line. I watched this with someone who was a bit younger than I am and following me getting all excitied about how great a film it was, he just didn't get it. I was incredibly disappointed in him and have not spoken to him since.
Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
No words are needed here.
Labyrinth
Being a bit of a David Bowie fan I can't go past this, or his tight pants. It's a really sweet film apart from those fire swamp creatures. I hate them, I hate them a lot. I like the fox on the Dulux dog.
The Neverending Story
Complete with a rockin' '80's theme tune, I have always loved the idea of books holding secret worlds, let alone one that held Atreyu. Sing it like you mean it.
There are heaps of other films that I have missed out, in fact I know I have. I suspect I should have called this 'Part 1'.
The Dark Crystal
I just love the skeksis! And the long legged rabbits! And the crazy lady with the world in a dome! AND the puppets all have people in them! This is really a genius production. If you have the DVD with the "Making of" documentary watch it. These days I like it better than the film.
The Goonies
Ah, the old adventure films. Young boys setting out to save their town/home/lives from whatever is threatening them. It has pirates too. And that guy who does the "Hey, you guys!" line. I watched this with someone who was a bit younger than I am and following me getting all excitied about how great a film it was, he just didn't get it. I was incredibly disappointed in him and have not spoken to him since.
Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
No words are needed here.
Labyrinth
Being a bit of a David Bowie fan I can't go past this, or his tight pants. It's a really sweet film apart from those fire swamp creatures. I hate them, I hate them a lot. I like the fox on the Dulux dog.
The Neverending Story
Complete with a rockin' '80's theme tune, I have always loved the idea of books holding secret worlds, let alone one that held Atreyu. Sing it like you mean it.
There are heaps of other films that I have missed out, in fact I know I have. I suspect I should have called this 'Part 1'.
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