Terrain Training Tuesday: The Jungle Part 4

Apparently hunting techniques like stalking and spearing, using a sling or a homemade blow gun are passed down for generations in native tribes and are very difficult to master (unless you are a minion of HiiRagi, I say), leading to wasted energy and no food. However, you can't keep meat fresh for very long either so if you go around killing big game, you will have to gorge yourself on it too, which while appealing, will reduce your chances of out running your enemies should you have to.. All in all your energy is better spent fishing than hunting.

So we’re going to go fishing in the Jungle! Wait. Is not the Jungle home to the vicious and predatory Piranha? Why yes it is, but do not fear minions, they're edible and as a minion of HiiRagi you will show no fear! However they don't really have much meat on them, so unfortunately to catch them is more of a challenge than a survival skill. Despite their reputation, piranhas don't really bother humans, but avoid getting into the water if you have an open wound -- they're attracted to the scent of blood and girls in white bikinis...

You have a survival kit with some fishing gear, but in the occasion that you don’t (I’m thinking you have had your arm ripped off that was holding it) spear fishing is probably your best bet. Bamboo (the multi-purpose timber) is plentiful in the jungle and makes a great spear. After you find a 2 metre piece of bamboo:

• make two intersecting crosscuts at one end about 15 cm deep, creating four prongs.

• separate the prongs by wedging vine into the crevices (how survival god is this?!).

• sharpen the prongs with a knife, sharp rock or that huge machete you just happen to include in your survival kit.

Just like that, you have a four-pronged fishing spear. Now comes the tricky part -- spearing the fish. Once you're at the river or stream, find a rock to stand on or wade into knee-deep water. Move slowly and deliberately to avoid scaring away the fish. Hold the spear with both hands, with the sharp end a couple of feet from the surface. This allows you to strike fast when you see your prey. Once you spot a fish, stand still and wait for it to swim close to you. Once it's within range, jab quickly and forcefully and try to pin the fish either on a rock or the bed of the stream. Just remember that practice makes perfect. You may not land one on your first go-round, but keep at it and you'll eventually get the hang of it.

So spear little minions! Spear your little hearts out and feast upon the little fishies!

Terrain Training Tuesday: The Jungle Part 3

Now weather in the jungle is harsh, and the one thing that you will get is lot’s and lot’s of rain. As a result the jungle is lush, full of greenery teaming with life. A quick fact is that jungles cover only 2% of the Earth’s surface but they account for 50% of all plants and animals. Now, all that life makes it both easier and more difficult to survive in the jungle. Because jungles are so wet, collecting rainwater is probably the easiest part of survival. Leaves on the rainforest floor are large because of the limited amount of sunlight they get. Large leaves are useful in collecting dew and rainwater. If you have a container to store water such as a plastic bag (which should be in your survival kit) or container, simply angle a leaf into it overnight or during a rainstorm and you have some fresh drinking water in no time. Fear not if it tastes a little funny, it's because rainwater lacks certain minerals found in groundwater or streams.  IF it bothers you a lot and you have the spare time, make a homemade filter:

Even better is if you can find a running water source. Animals need water, so look for wildlife or animal tracks to lead you to a stream. If you find a stream, don't just start drinking; it could contain parasites that can make you seriously ill. You should purify the water by boiling it over a fire --10 minutes is a good rule of thumb. Either that or if with other people hold off and either let someone else or goad your most challenging opponent into drinking it first and then just sit back and wait. Diabolical no?

Green bamboo has clear and odorless water inside it that you can drink. To access it, bend the top of a tree down about a foot off the ground and tie it off. Cut a few inches off the tip, put a container underneath and leave it overnight. The next day, you should have some drinkable water.

Now besides water, the other thing you'll need to survive in the jungle is food. Your dining choices will largely revolve around edible plants, fruit, insects and fish. It can be a bit hard trying to figure out the edible and non edible, especially once you run out of human guinea pigs, however you can follow these general rules when foraging for plants:

• Avoid plants with white or yellow berries.

• Don't eat mushrooms. Some are safe, but many are highly toxic and even deadly, so it's probably not worth the risk.

• Avoid plants with thorns.

• If it tastes bitter or soapy, spit it out.

• Steer clear of shiny leaves.

• Stay away from plants with leaves in groups of three.

• Stay away from plants with umbrella-shaped flowers.

• Avoid beans or plants with seeds inside a pod.

• Milky or discolored sap is a warning sign.

• Avoid anything with an almond smell.

ooooo...pretty mushrooms.....

Fruit can be found throughout the jungle. Depending on where you are, you can find everything from mangoes and bananas to coconuts to wild yams and sugarcane. 

Insects are another good source of protein. Unfortunately, there isn't a dead giveaway to tell if a bug is edible unless you know what you're doing. But there are some general guidelines you can use to help you decide:

• Steer clear of brightly colored insects.

• Avoid insects that are extremely pungent.

• Don't eat hairy critters or bugs that bite or sting.

ok, this one's a no no

Worms, grubs and termites are everywhere in the jungle and are all a great protein source. If you had fresh water, you could survive for months on insects alone. Beetles can also make for a hearty meal, but some carry parasites. A good way to make sure you're safe is to cook it. A good boiling or slow roast will usually negate the effect of harmful toxins.

yum yum yum! Open wide, here comes the HUGE protein filled insect!

So what if you want something with a bit more substance and cool hunting style? Stay tuned for next week when we find out how to make a spear Lord of the Flies style....

Exciting new geek project: Tiger Tank!

I'm weak when it comes to military stuff, recently my new infatuation is models.  Recent purchases have included a Soviet MIG 3 aircraft, a Spitfire and a Reconnaisance motorbike (bought for me by my awesome human sidekick Agent Rubix Digitales Hamster Slide...hmmmm....I think we'll just call him 'Agent' from now on).  Anyway as I innocently watched TV one night there advertisied before my very eyes 'Make your own Tiger Tank!' and so the hunt was on, I trawled newsagencies looking for this great thing advertised at only $1.50 and was rewarded with this:

The whole kit and caboodle!  I have to admit I haven't watched the DVD yet, I prefer to wing it using my own miltary genius...

Yep, that's what I am making.  Interestingly for a geek like me the Tiger Tank is German and was also called the Acht-Acht, which bears a more than close comparison  to the At-At from the Return of the Jedi and we all know how much Lucas and Speilberg hated the Nazis.  A coincidence? I don't think so (and so you get an insight into my own minds diabolical workings...)

Anyway, conspiracies aside the first part to make was the 88mm gun and hey presto! One glass of wine, 2 minutes later done!  I can totally do this, sure I've never made a model before (I prefer real size with arsenal ready), and sure there are 50 billion pieces to the whole thing and I already have numerous half finished projects around me but hey...this one I'm going to finish. 

Stay tuned and we'll see how I go...

Terrain Training Tuesday: The Jungle Part 2

So, as we ended last week, the best shelter is definitely off the ground. Even if you are not building a shelter or can only build on the ground, ensure your bed is. Depending upon the type of jungle you are in will dictate your materials. Bamboo is awesome and gives a sophisticated Asian look but other branches will work just as well to make a pole bed. Vines can be swung on in true Tarzan style, then pulled down as they are useful for construction too.

How to make a pole bed:

• Look for four trees clustered in a rectangle, or cut four poles (bamboo is ideal) and drive them firmly into the ground so they form a rectangle. They should be far enough apart and strong enough to support your height and weight.

• Cut two poles that span the width of the rectangle. They, too, must be strong enough to support your weight.

• Secure these two poles to the trees (or poles). Be sure they are high enough above the ground.

• Cut additional poles that span the rectangle's length. Lay them across the two side poles, and secure them.

• Cover the top of the bed frame with broad leaves or grass to form a soft sleeping surface.

Source: http://www.wilderness-survival.net/shelters-2.php

Once your pole bed is made, the easiest shelter to make is a simple A frame shelter where you tie a rope from one tree or pole to another and throw your tarpaulin/parachute/poncho over it and secure each corner with a sharp stick. The biggest mistake people make when erecting a shelter is making it too big. Most shelters only need to keep you dry and ensure not too much body heat escapes. If you brought your mosquito net put that up too or cover yourself with it, otherwise apply the insect repellent or make a smokey fire and hope for the best.

For lazy minions who can’t be bothered or if you are just sheltering for the night, just make a hammock using any material you have and tying it between two trees.

The same goes for if you don’t have enough material to make an A frame shelter, just make it into a one sided lean to, this style is easier for observation anyway. It all depends upon how long you are going to stay put and how much energy you want to put into it and if there are others who can watch and be impressed with your skills. If you assert your dominance early, the others may actually follow you orders and make it for you, then you are truly on the path of success with minions of your own.

Next week, we look for water and food...

Bitbots

How cool is this?!

This great print is by UK-based Bitbots toys, which was started by Jats Gill, a London based designer who has been an avid toy collector for many years and one day decided to channel his creativity to create Bitbots and Jinny who is the character included in this prints.  This print is illustrated by Anthony Lamb, who does alot of Dr Who artwork.  There are 3 prints in total.  Look for them at http://www.bitbots.co.uk/.


Have a good weekend!

Terrain Training Tuesday: Welcome to the Jungle Part 1

HiiRagi minions should train themselves to survive and fight in almost any terrain. The type of terrain will dictate the most important things to carry and how you have to operate in each environment. For Unit 1, all I can say is (cue the Guns ’n’ Roses) “Welcome to the Jungle”.

The Jungle. A heaving, sweaty, humid mass of insects, plants and animals just waiting to either poison you, trap you or eat you. The jungles of Malaysia and the Far East, if you work with it, are fairly good, when you get into the jungles of South America however, it’s another matter. Both types of jungles are full of dangers and inconveniences.

Survival Kit Top-up: Make sure you pack some salt (leeches are rampant), insect repellent and this may also be the time to pull out the machete (hurrah!). Another worthwhile addition is a larger sealable plastic bag to try to keep at least one set of clothes dry (the Jungle is a wet, wet, wet place).

Rightio then, firstly the best thing to do is to keep calm, this applies to any situation. Remember to breath, at least look like you are in control and squint your eyes occasionally while picking up dirt and sniffing it. This facade makes it much easier to dominate groups and you look cool and dangerous to know: think Arnie and his crew in ‘Predator’.

In the Jungle however, with its clinging plants, it is easy to become enmeshed and panic but stay mellow and just remove the offending vines. Watch out for snakes, spiders, ants and the like but don’t fret too much, mind your own business and they will generally mind theirs (Tip: always check your shoes before you put them on just to be on the safe side). On the off chance you do get bitten make sure you can identify the creature so its toxicity can be determined should you make it to a hospital, otherwise cut the wound and suck out the poison like the brave minion you are (that will make a great story on your triumphant return to civilisation, should you survive).

So with that bit out of the way, you find yourself lost in the Jungle: what do you do first? Build yourself a base camp of course! With the bountiful resources the Jungle provides you shouldn’t have a lack of building materials. What you will need to look out for is:

• The presence of nearby food and water

• Stable ground away from swamps, or infected areas

• Protection from danger, such as rotting or falling trees, wild animals and the like.

Given the amount of creepy crawlies on the ground, the best type of shelter will be a raised shelter, but more on that next week.

Tom Gauld

Tom Gauld is a London based cartoonist and illustrator. He draws a weekly cartoon for the Guardian newspaper and has created a number of comic books, my favourite being The Gigantic Robot, a beautiful story of an impressive secret weapon whose promise goes unfulfilled (see the beautiful images below and if you want to buy it you can at his website). He has also illustrated a number of books, including a version of The Iron Giant.

More images here



One if the main things I like about Toms work is that he aims to communicate his idea as simply and directly as possible. Even when a lot of detail is included he tries to make everything clear and understandable, which is helped by his comics and the combination of words and images.  And he's funny.

In 2001 he started small-press publishing venture 'Cabanon Press' with Simone Lia while studying at the Royal College of Art. They set up http://www.cabanonpress.com/ and have published a number of books including 'First', 'Second', 'Three Very Small Comics' (which includes Tom's Art of War series) and 'Fluffy' (which is by Simone Lia and is hilarious but I will feature her later).

So check Tom Gauld out, he’s great!