Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Terrain Training Tuesday: Welcome to the Jungle Part 1

HiiRagi minions should train themselves to survive and fight in almost any terrain. The type of terrain will dictate the most important things to carry and how you have to operate in each environment. For Unit 1, all I can say is (cue the Guns ’n’ Roses) “Welcome to the Jungle”.

The Jungle. A heaving, sweaty, humid mass of insects, plants and animals just waiting to either poison you, trap you or eat you. The jungles of Malaysia and the Far East, if you work with it, are fairly good, when you get into the jungles of South America however, it’s another matter. Both types of jungles are full of dangers and inconveniences.

Survival Kit Top-up: Make sure you pack some salt (leeches are rampant), insect repellent and this may also be the time to pull out the machete (hurrah!). Another worthwhile addition is a larger sealable plastic bag to try to keep at least one set of clothes dry (the Jungle is a wet, wet, wet place).

Rightio then, firstly the best thing to do is to keep calm, this applies to any situation. Remember to breath, at least look like you are in control and squint your eyes occasionally while picking up dirt and sniffing it. This facade makes it much easier to dominate groups and you look cool and dangerous to know: think Arnie and his crew in ‘Predator’.

In the Jungle however, with its clinging plants, it is easy to become enmeshed and panic but stay mellow and just remove the offending vines. Watch out for snakes, spiders, ants and the like but don’t fret too much, mind your own business and they will generally mind theirs (Tip: always check your shoes before you put them on just to be on the safe side). On the off chance you do get bitten make sure you can identify the creature so its toxicity can be determined should you make it to a hospital, otherwise cut the wound and suck out the poison like the brave minion you are (that will make a great story on your triumphant return to civilisation, should you survive).

So with that bit out of the way, you find yourself lost in the Jungle: what do you do first? Build yourself a base camp of course! With the bountiful resources the Jungle provides you shouldn’t have a lack of building materials. What you will need to look out for is:

• The presence of nearby food and water

• Stable ground away from swamps, or infected areas

• Protection from danger, such as rotting or falling trees, wild animals and the like.

Given the amount of creepy crawlies on the ground, the best type of shelter will be a raised shelter, but more on that next week.


  1. Been AWOL master, however I have taken note of the training lesson for this week, unfortunately, while trying to construct an elevated/hanging sleeping structure (to stay away from the ticks, leaches and 'pizzle worms' - every man's secret fear) I sprained my ankle (x-rays taken by my pygmy doctor at local jungle hospital show no breaks luckily), so I'm laid up for a while. But as Bear Grylls' says 'I think I'll drink my own piss'.... i think there is something in that for all survival minions.

  2. Wise words indeed... unfortunately the road to World Domination is hard, thwart with danger and injury. Your efforts will not go unrewarded...