Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Terrain Training Tuesday: How to drive a Tank (Part 1)

I really love tanks. Nothing says I'm kings*#t like the tank. With this in mind and considering the continuous threat that stupidity brings to us in our lives I thought wouldn't it be great if all minions could drive a tank. Doesn't matter if you don't have one, just so when the time comes and you find one, just like MacGuyver, you will instinctively know what to do. HiiRagi minions are awesome like that.

See, once you know how it will be easy to just take the tank out for a Sunday arvo drive, what bliss....

Firstly a brief history of the excellent Tank.

Tanks are heavily armed combat vehicles that move on two continuous metal chains referred to as tracks. They are usually equipped with a cannon mounted in a revolving turret and automatic weapons as machine guns. During the First World War, crafty British engineers developed tanks to satisfy the need for armoured attack tracked vehicles that could cross the muddy, uneven, and dangerous terrain of the trench warfare battle zone. The first tanks participated in combat operations at the Battle of the Somme in 1916.

This is a random Japanese tank that no one really knows what was going on with it, awesome isn't it?!

In the Second World War, Germany's tank forces were the most effective in Europe because they were organized into fast-moving massed formations with great striking power. After the Second World War, tanks became larger and more heavily armoured. A few modern battle tanks weigh more than 60 tons and they are capable of road speeds of 60 to 70 km per hour. The modern battle tank’s standard main armament fires armour-piercing projectiles, laser range-finders, and infrared heat imaging devices designed to aid in sighting the enemy’s heat emissions. Driving a battle tank requires months of training before a soldier can be qualified to drive these modern weapon systems.

However HiiRagi minions are a clever bunch and I think that the following information on basic tank driving should be all you need, apart from actually finding a tank. Remember... it’s all about confidence.

Step 1: Begin by surveying your area. Assess your immediate surroundings before entering your tank because your field of vision becomes limited when you are inside. Understand that you will be part of a three or four person tank crew, but fear not, you are the driver. Remember to avoid obstacles, unstable ground, steep slopes, and banks until you are more experienced because these objects may cause your tank to turn over and I don’t like the idea of trying to turn it back over either.

Step 2: Enter your tank by using the step on the left front of your tank to climb onto the front of your tank. Find your driver’s escape hatch, which should be below the Tank turret. Raise and swing the hatch to the side before locking it in the open position. Climb inside your tank, lock the hatch and feel the power. Remember how to unlock the hatch quickly because if your tank is penetrated by a projectile or missile weapon system, you need to leave quickly if you survive the hit. Not that this will happen, but just in case someone stupid gets their hands on a heat seeking missile. Weirder things have happened...

Step 3: Take a seat. The driver’s seat is located in the centre of the interior tank space and it is tilted backwards as a dentist’s chair because of the driving area’s low ceiling. Change the height and the angle of your seat until you become comfortable where you can see through the periscopes in front of your seat and you can reach the controls easily. So many controls....

Now that we've settled in, take a break because next week we fire this baby up. Hurrah!


  1. My dad drove tanks in the Army. I think its in the blood 'cos I'd love to go an a tank rampage! It would be very satisfying.

  2. Yes, satisfying is definately one way to describe it...how cool to have a dad who drove one, you must gets some tips!