Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Terrain Training Tuesday: When the INVADER comes

I'm thinking we've taken the whole survival thing as far as we can for now. I don't think that it gets much more severe than Cannibalism so let's move onto a more potent threat: Stupidity. Stupid people should be destroyed. However they DO seem to be increasing with vigour so as a good HiiRagi minion, I have developed a series of rules, in conjunction with the War Office and the Office of Home Security, if Stupidity beings to invade your territory. Over the course of the next couple of weeks I will be issuing some rules for good minions to follow. Read on....


Stupidity* threatens to invade our everyday lives. If this happens it (and its associated evils) will be driven out by our forces. Yet the minions of HiiRagi will also have an important part to play. Stupidity’s invasion of society was greatly helped by the fact that people were taken by surprise or apathy. They did not know what to do when the moment came. You must not be taken by surprise. This leaflet tells you the general line you should take. More detailed instructions will be issued when the danger becomes greater. Meanwhile, read these instructions carefully and be prepared to carry them out.

When stupidity invades the first thought is to flee from your homes. By fleeing you are crowding on the roads, in cars, on bicycles and on foot, and so help our common enemy by preventing our own armies from advancing against the peril. You must not allow that to happen. Therefore, your first rule is:-

1. IF STUPIDITY COMES BY LAND, PARACHUTE, AEROPLANE OR SHIP, YOU MUST REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE (UNLESS DIRECTED BY HIIRAGI). THE ORDER IS TO “STAY PUT”. If HiiRagi decides that you must be evacuated, you will be told when and how you leave. Until you received such orders you are to stay where you are. If you run away you will be exposed to far greater dangers.

Next week, more rules for a good HiiRagi minion to obey. If you can't wait you can see the whole document on the Rants page.

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