Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Terrain Training Tuesday: Building a Survival Kit Part 2

So after last week's exciting introduction we now look at what goes into our Survival Kits. Well, first should be matches, preferably waterproof or packed into a watertight container like a Gladbag. There actually are special matches that when lit will stay alight for 12 seconds, even underwater (how MacGuyver of them...) but they are a bit pricey so it’s up to you.

Secondly, you should probably get a flint and steel firelighter, a dependable source of fire (once all the matches have run out) in all types of weather.

The next item may seem a little weird but rumour has it that tampons provide the best tinder for lighting a fire. The idea is basic. By striking the steel against the flint, you can send sparks into a bed of tinder (in this case a tampon’s insides), which will hopefully ignite into flames. Ta Daaaaa. Fire.

Candles aren’t windproof but they can give you up to some light and if you want a dual purpose item get one made from 100% stearine (solidified edible animal fats) so that it can also be used for an emergency food source (I recommend only doing that if you’re about to die though despite the image below...).

Now, that’s all the fire stuff dealt with, next we move onto condoms. The condom is a highly valuable survival item, mainly as a water carrier. When fully extended (!) to the length of 30cm condoms have a water capacity of 1.5 litres. Note that it has to be filled, you can’t just dip it into the water and support the weight using a sock or a shirt sleeve. Garbage bags are also great for collecting water and they can be used as a raincoat or as a waterproof shelter.

Another multi faceted survival kit item is the humble sewing needle. Not just for stitching, it can also be magnetised and improvised as a compass pointer (more on that later). The best needles are larger in size about two inches long and robust enough to sew heavy materials such as animal skins or other such materials. I personally like to make myself a Survival Headdress, it adds to the drama and others subconciously look to you as their King/Queen without even realising it! And it looks awesome (see below)!

And for those wishing to exert their dominance over a group, a mighty Codpiece (ala ‘Blackadder’) is recommended.

Nothing says 'I Rule' like a giant codpiece.  As you can see in the image above, it is most effective and size DOES matter.  Watch as others quiver with excitement as you strut around the survival area.  Caution: being the alpha leader means others will want to potentially mate with or challenge you, you must be on your guard at all times.
Next week, more Survival items but I leave with a HiiRagi Discussion Topic: Headdress or codpiece? Which do you think is more effective in asserting dominance?


  1. haha, you make me laugh Your Higness (but I have very scared as well).
    Nice new look for your website, you'll conquer the world in no time with That Sort of Look! :-D

  2. Wow! I missed soooo many important items in my list, I'm humbled by oh great leader! I'm just not sure if the enemy would take me seriously as an elite ninja assassin if i was caught holding a tampon, condom and a correctly sized codpiece!!! So i have to go with the headdress i'm afraid. To blend in with the forest i'll go for the 'Carmen Miranda' tactical headdress.....

  3. Ha! The key is not to be caught little minion... and to under estimate your opponent (in this case you) is usually a big mistake so take the advantage while you can... I see big things for you, with your head dress as merely the beginning...