Terrain Training Tuesday: Is the best outfit to wear nothing at all?

When looking at villians or merely those wanting to do as they wish, is it perhaps better to not have an earthly body at all? First that springs to mind (for me being the nerd burger that I am) is Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Now he did have a body but lost it (how do you lose it? I think it is best done during a scientific experiment or being struck by lightening or exhausting your power beyond everything, however from there what he got was the look of a great all seeing eye:

Now this is more of an elemental look. Here he is constructed out of fire (nice and destructive) and in the form of an eye, which makes you think that he can see everything. Now you can go beyond this and make your body out of anything such as water, air, earth or other choices like wood, metal or electricity, all effective choices. One drawback that was brought to my attention is that if you say went down the water route and took on the form of a huge wave, wrecking havoc along the coastline, unless you have laid some extensive publicity ground work people may not know that it is you, and even, that maybe it's just Mother Nature....not that would be humiliating to say the least.

The next thought was maybe you could just be intelligence transferred into a computer. Then the whole world would be your oyster as you ride the internet highway and if your opponent destroyed your computer you could just pop int another one. Genius. I mean we've all seen 'Electric Dreams' (haven't we?). The benefits are endless with limitless information at your fingertips. You can set yourself up in the core of the Earth, set up cameras to act as your eyes and ears and robots as your hands. Again genius. You will also be immortal and immoral as transforming yourself into a binary code will definately have an impact on your humanity (or lack of), making your destructive ways just that little bit easier to live with.

BUT then maybe the best way is to never reveal yourself at all.... Become a mysterious force that no one ever sees but they know you exist because of the trail of destruction that you leave. The fact that you remain unseen will only add to making you some kind of children's nightmare creature of legend. Imagine the freedom! Claim others wrong doings as your own, run amok! We all know that people fear what they do not know and understand (fools), add to that that you may not exist and it's a winner all round. I like it.

Terrain Training Tuesday: Hostage DIY

Yep, once again I have been distracted from my outfit (we all know I'm going to go for the military look anyway)for the joys of a good hostage situation. You can take anything hostage and still get all the thrills and excitement. Recently I had the opportunity of taking a certain minions precious thing,in this case a small vial of gold (see below) hostage.

Now it's a pretty small vial, and yes, that is the gold in the bottom sparkling away, so pretty.... Due to the size I'm thinking a Gulliver's Travels theme is in order. Theming your hostage situation also adds to the drama and humour of the situation, after all just because it sounds nasty doesn't mean it has to be, a bit of humour can go a long way. Now go take something hostage. Once you have, to complete this you are going to need:

String, brown is the craft classic.

Tacks or small nails

An army, these ones are about two cm tall and are ace! I found them at Sorell Market and nearly wet myself with excitement as my hostage plans all came together!

Ok. SO from here all you need to do is arrange your scene showing that you have the hostage and that, while it is still safe and sound, your image needs to show that it is in REAL danger. Take my example:

As you can see the hostage is clearly visible in one piece, with the army quite menacing as it surrounds our victim. It's a beautiful thing. The string adds to the scene where the vial could be in a bit of physical pain and anguish. Mental anguish is also assumed and increases our bargaining power. From here we need to record the scene, I find polaroids are best:

They give off a certain charm, don't they? The blurriness also adds a certain desperation to it all. These were taken with my Diana f+ using the Instamatic back and the Close-up lens. Admire your genius and then pop them into a plain envelope:

Next we need to write a note. Show good faith by saying your hostage is well, put in a condition of its safe return and then place a thinly veiled threat in there somewhere too. Below is my example:

The note reads: "AS YOU CAN SEE YOUR GOLD IS ALIVE AND WELL, I HOPE TO RETURN IT TO YOU IN THIS STATE. BUT THIS ALL HINGES ON THE SAFE RETURN OF MY BELOVED COMPASS...WE WOULDN'T WANT THIS TO TURN NASTY NOW...WOULD WE?"

As I previously commented, there is no cost to being polite about the whole thing. Unfortunately this situation has escalated due to the minion taking one of my compasses hostage (look at what happens when you give a minion just a little bit of leeway, they just stab you in the back...unfortunately that's also why I like them). And I've added just a little bit of a malicious comment at the end that things could go bad if they do not comply. Usually I wouldn't recommend using your typewriter as it can be easily traced to you, however as this minion knows I am in possession of the vial, it doesn't really matter. Nothing beats letters cut out of the newspaper though. It's a classic combination. And then TA DA! All ready to go! I'm going to deliver this later in the week and will let you know how it all turns out.

*An important thing to remember with hostage taking, you MUST be prepared to carry your threat out. NEVER make threats you do not intend to carry out when provoked. That is NOT the HiiRagi way. We are people of our word...most of the time...Good luck my little minions!

Terrain Training Tuesday:The Mad Scientist Look

I'm quite fond of the Mad Scientist. There is something about the combination of being intellectually gifted (usually) and completely socially inept and awkward. It's quite endearing really. Make sure that you really are of superior intelligence (otherwise this may all turn out really really bad) and have a good dose of insanity so that you really do think that you are unstoppable (there is no room here for logical rationale or self doubt, trust me). You need to make sure of this because to take on the 'look' of the Mad Scientist is quite easy, mess up you hair (colour is irrelevant but better to be grey), done a white coat, dental outfit or a simple rumpled suit with a few Sulphur stains and you're done! The look in the eyes though, that's something you just can't fake...

If you are going to rock this look, the most important feature is going to be your laboratory...how else will you be able to recreate life or build gigantic and powerful inventions?

All of these examples are good reference. You may also want to add a laboratory assistant, these are great for throwing large switches and seeking out body parts for you when you are simply too busy being a genius. I always loved the guy out of Young Frankenstein.

For those with a touch of the musical about them, there is always 'Dr Horror's Sing-a-long'. Check it out.

Terrain Training Tuesday:Evil Eyepatches

I know I'm looking at outfits but as usual I have been distracted by accessorising. I am only human. Now the appeal of the eye patch, other than the ones worn by the HiiRagi Army, is that they convey a silent threat that the person wearing the eyepatch is 1) an experienced combatant; or 2) a badass; or BOTH. How awesome is that? You don't even need to say anything, in fact, I suspect it is better to play the silent type and just fix them with a one eyed steely glare ala John Wayne.

He may look friendly but you know he could turn at any moment....

Yep, Kurt Russell knows how to rock an eye patch, again and again and again...

This one just looks hot...go on admit it....nothing beats an eyepatch and a military uniform.

Even David Hasselhoff knows to rock an eyepatch. I have no idea what this image is from and quite frankly I don't want to...nor do I want to know why he is standing so close to that woman...

One thing to note is that characters who have an eyepatch in the parallel universe of comic, TV and movie land rarely seem to experience any problems with depth perception or suffer from the resulting reduced field of vision. In fact, sometimes the Eyepatch covers a perfectly functional - or specially functional - eye instead of the empty hole one might suspect. This is truly diabolical and much admired by me.

Yep, there's a couple of special eye patch wearers, just out for a stroll, taking in a bit of fresh air...

And finally as my fact of the day, the Norse god Odin actually traded an eye for a drink from Mimir's well of knowledge. That's what we need, a Well of Knowledge, I'm sure I have one laying around here somewhere....

Terrain Training Tuesday: Spandex, its a privilege, not a right

It’s a prevalent look in the purveyors of World Domination, and it has the power to make you wince in pain (that may be part of the appeal actually), yep, it’s the tight all-in-one spandex suit.

Classic. Now, this is a good one as you can play with colours and symbols around any theme you wish to be associated with, the obvious example of this is The Riddler, who began life in a classy suit, was morphed with Jim Carrey and came out like this:

It’s a bit obvious for my taste but people are pretty stupid so maybe you need to be obvious. From here, you can get a bit more detailed or fancy by throwing on some pouches and gun holsters…maybe a cape? Probably a bit too Superhero though…. And no shoulder pads. N-O. The neck thing in this one is nice though. Personally I'm not a spandex wearer but I'm sure that they are quite comfortable. I also think that they would get a bit cold and this is one look where I don't think you would want to be left cold and exposed...

Another side effect of it all is that there can be consequences to the spandex suit. Poor old Baron Zero (above) is permanently imbued to his suit due to a consequence in a battle with Super-Soldier. I'm afraid that's the risk you take wearing it in public. I like his pants on the outside though and his big boots. It's a bit Sci-Fi really. The steam coming out of his neck is cool too. Once again, it appears the look works best if you can incorporate a gimmick.

And this ONLY works if you are David Bowie.

And if you physique is less that amazing, have a good long think about this look…or get some padding. But preferably not like this:

Do I need to explain what is wrong with this? If I do, you should not be reading this blog. I mean it. All I have left to say is 'Run little piggy! Run!'

Terrain Training Tuesday: The Business Suit that means Business

The Business Suit. This is an interesting one, as it doesn’t really define you as an out and out World Domination specialist. You kind of blend in with the crowd, which can be worked to your advantage. There’s no doubting that it looks slick, I mean just look at Gene Hackman here, rocking the tuxedo as Lex Luthor in Superman.

Luthor is described as "a power-mad, evil scientist" of high intelligence and incredible technological prowess. His long term goals typically centre on killing Superman, usually as a stepping stone to world domination. Disappointingly, Luthor lacks superpowers or a dual identity, that sit so well with the more avant garde costumes. A useless fact about Luther is that he used to have red hair until an artists mistake made him bald, happens to the best of us....Hmm... I'm actually not sure what the deal is with Gene Hackmans hair in this to be perfectly honest....

Another suit wearing, no super talents, villainous specialist is Kingpin. It’s the usual stuff, he was bullied, got real tough, joined the Mafia, took it all over and became the big ‘King Pin’.

He typically wears Kevlar armour under his clothing (I'm guessing from the size of him it is unusually thick armour). He also accessorises with a walking stick that conceals a laser beam weapon capable of firing a blast of concussive force sufficient for vaporizing a handgun (or a person's head) at close range; known as his "obliterator cane" (yep, sounds cool). He also wears an ornamental diamond stick-pin that conceals a highly compressed chamber of sleeping gas that is effective if sprayed at close range directly into his victim's face. This is most diabolical and for those who choose the Business Suit, this is a MUST.

And sometimes the Business Suit is just the more stylish option. We can see from the example of Dr Octopus who has the added bonus of four massive mechanical arms shooting from his back.

Poor old Dr Octopus started out in a green jumpsuit that did nothing for his figure (talk about thick set), his self-confidence or his public image (the pot gut didn’t help either) but pop him into a nice suit and hey Presto! He starts to mean business. Look at this! Change the suit, get the annoying do gooder! Hurrah!

So maybe the key to the Business Suit look is to have a gimmick, for while you look like an ordinary person you team it with maybe a weird coloured face, some gross deformity or just a weird growth. Got any of those and this may be the look for you.

Terrain Training Tuesday: The Evil Robe

This week we look at The Robe. This is a good choice for the World Domination specialist as it has close associations with the Grim Reaper and most people are quite terrified by Death, it makes for a good first impression.

However, this look has been owned by Emperor Palpatine ever since he appeared in the Star Wars series (Episodes IV-V1 of course, don't get me started on the others...). Coupled with his pale pussy face and red watery eyes, he’s totally got it going on.

This look works because you really can't see anything apart from the gnarled hands, weak chin and the evil glint in the eyes. If you have all these traits then this look is for you. It also helps if you have the "force" as I can't image having to fight a bit of open combat in this is going to be easy. I suspect it is best suited to a homebody, one who doesn't want to go out often but would rather bask in the glory of his or her surroundings. You're going to have to have a big base for this look to hold all your minions together. I think our best inspiration of this is Ming the Merciless. He totally brought the bling to The Robe.



Yep, that's how you do it people! Did you know that his capital city is called 'Mingo City'? Hilarious. The use of the smoke machine is effective though and should be duly noted.

One thing I will say about the robe is that the capacity to hide your weaponry and evil gadgets is amazing. Who knows what level of dastardly objects could be concealed?! That's got to be the biggest bonus of the robe. It also can conceal your appearance and then make for a dramatic unveiling too once you feel the need to to lose the layers (preferably wearing something really tight). Actually I'm kinda beginning to like this idea....

Terrain Training Tuesday: I have nothing to wear!

Rightio then. I think we have spent more than enough time on the minions and training up our troops. It's time for a little bit of 'me' time. Lately, I realise that I may not have been spending enough time looking after myself and my all important image. Being a professional World Domination Specialist I need a look that says 'Don't mess with me' while maintaining an air of 'mystery and charisma' that makes people do my willing with a minimum of fuss, after all one only wants to fire their Secret Death Ray when they have to because then it won't be a secret anymore will it?! So over the next couple of weeks we shall be looking at outfits for the World Domination Specialist (and given the amount of e mails I have been receiving there seem to be a few of us out there, I can be comfortable with this because I understand that I am the only truly superior overlord alive who will succeed, fools).

We have a couple of options available at the moment which we will look into detail over the next few training sessions. Making the cut and offering up the options are:

A classic look, hides the excess baggage one stores over Winter

Nothing says I'm evil like a well cut business suit, the receding hairline and liver spots help too

Hmmmm....I'm still out on the on the all-in-one jumpsuit, I guess it provides a slightly crazed look...

Military style, combined with a hint of depressed English trainspotter.

Ah, the old I have no body so how will you ever destroy me trick. I quite like this one....

Dominatrix...need I say more?

I am also partial to the old make me half a robot routine...

And finally the classic, Mad Scientist look, the hair is a particular feature....

SO many options. Stay tuned, we're about to enter the realm of the agonising decision making of what to wear...

Terrain Training Tuesday: A brief interlude....

I always do this post, I love training day but today I am in a complete and utter rage. No real reason for it, there has been no more rampant stupidity in the world than normal, I just am. So instead of training you, I am going to do my best Incredible Hulk impersonation, play Atari Teenage Riot up loud and go and destroy something. Maybe I'll have a Fight Club moment and destroy something beautiful... Actually, that sounds like fun....

Training will resume next week....

Terrain Training Tuesday: Moving with a Tank

If Van Halen can do it, so can you!

Given what a favoured place tanks hold within my heart, you will often have to move with tanks. When you must move as fast as the tanks, you should ride on them. However, riding on a tank makes you vulnerable to all types of fire. It also reduces the tank's manoeuvrability and the ability to traverse its turret. If contact is made with the enemy, you must dismount from the tank at once.

To mount a tank, first get permission from the tank commander. Then mount from the tank's right front, not its left side where the coax machinegun is mounted. Once mounted, move to the rear deck, stand, and hold on to the bustle rack. If there is not enough room for you on the rear deck, you may have to stand beside the turret and hold onto a hatch or hatch opening.

Mmmmmmm, even I think this may be over doing it....

When riding on a tank, be alert for trees that may knock you off and obstacles that may cause the tank to turn suddenly. Also be alert for enemy troops that may cause the tank to move its turret quickly and fire.

Riding on a tank is always hazardous and should be done only when the risks of riding are outweighed by the advantages of riding.

Terrain Training Tuesday: Move like a Commando (Part 6)

MOVING WITHIN A TEAM, I don't like it but sometimes you just have to work together....

As a HiiRagi minion, you may have to move as a member of a team. Small teams, such as infantry fire teams, normally move in a wedge formation. Each minion in the team has a set position in the wedge, determined by the type weapon he carries or skill set. That position, however, may be changed by the team leader or HiiRagi to meet the situation. The normal distance between minions is 10 meters as we all like a bit of personal space.

You may have to make a temporary change in the wedge formation when moving through close terrain. The minions in the sides of the wedge close into a single file when moving in thick brush or through a narrow pass. After passing through such an area, they should spread out, again forming the wedge. You should not wait for orders to change the formation or the interval. You should change automatically and stay in visual contact with the other minions and the team leader.

The team leader leads by setting the example. The standing order is, FOLLOW ME AND DO AS I DO. Actually I think that's a standing HiiRagi order regardless. When they move to the left, you should move to the left. When they get down, you should get down. When they fire, you should fire. Unless they pull this move:

Personally I'm not into the Meerkat routine....it has being taken out written all over it

When visibility is limited, control during movement may become difficult. Two l-inch horizontal strips of luminous tape, sewn directly on the rear of the helmet camouflage band with a l-inch space between them, are a device for night identification, meaning don't attack another minion by mistake. Night identification for your patrol cap should be two l-inch by 1/2-inch strips of luminous tape sewn vertically, directly on the rear of the cap. They should be centered, with the bottom edge of each tape even with the bottom edge of the cap and with a l-inch space between two tapes. Yeah, looking cool....reflective....

Terrain Training Tuesday: Move like a Commando (Part 5)

WE ARE ON THE MOVE PEOPLE!

This section helps to guide you for immediate actions you should take when reacting to enemy indirect fire and flares (no, they’re not just for boating…).

REACTING TO INDIRECT FIRE
If you come under indirect fire while moving, quickly look to your leader or HiiRagi for orders, which will probably be run out of the impact area in a certain direction or follow. If this does not happen or you cannot see your leader, but can see other team members, most will tell you to follow them. Don’t. This is your chance to shine and take over the group for your own much more important cause of HiiRagi World Domination. If alone, or if you cannot see your leader or the other team members, run out of the area in a direction away from the incoming fire and then begin plotting your next diabolical move.

It is hard to move quickly on rough terrain, but the terrain may provide good cover. In such terrain, it may be best to take cover and wait for flares to burn out. After they burn out, move out of the area quickly.

REACTING TO GROUND FLARES
The enemy puts out ground flares as warning devices. He sets them off himself or attaches tripwires to them for you to trip on and set them off ( I never said they weren’t crafty). He usually puts the flares in places he can watch because we all enjoy a good light show, what a loser…

If you are caught in the light of a ground flare, move quickly out of the lighted area. The enemy will know where the ground flare is and will be ready to fire into that area. Move well away from the lighted area. While moving out of the area, look for other team members. Try to keep the team together.

REACTING TO AERIAL FLARES
The enemy uses aerial flares to light up vital areas. They can be set off like ground flares; fired from hand projectors, grenade launchers, mortars, and artillery; or dropped from aircraft. We should totally have some.
If you hear the firing of an aerial flare while you are moving, hit the ground (behind cover if possible) while the flare is rising and before it bursts and illuminates.

If moving where it is easy to blend with the background (such as in a forest) or you are a ninja and you are caught in the light of an aerial flare, freeze in place until the flare burns out. They will never see you.
If you are caught in the light of an aerial flare while moving in an open area, immediately crouch low or lie down.
If you are crossing an obstacle, such as a barbed-wire fence or a wall, and get caught in the light of an aerial flare, crouch low and stay down until the flare burns out.

The sudden light of a bursting flare may temporarily blind both you and the enemy. When the enemy uses a flare to spot you, he spoils his own night vision. To protect your night vision, close one eye while the flare is burning. When the flare burns out, the eye that was closed will still have its night vision.

Next week, it's time to learn to move within a team. We don't like it but sometimes you just have to suck it up.

Terrain Training Tuesday: Move like a Commando (Part 4)

Moving with stealth means moving quietly, slowly, and carefully. This requires great patience.

To move with stealth, use the following techniques:

-Hold your rifle at port arms (ready position).

The second image shows what 'port arms' means, beret is optional

-Make your footing sure and solid by keeping your body's weight on the foot on the ground while stepping.
-Raise the moving leg high to clear brush or grass.
-Gently let the moving foot down toe first, with your body's weight on the rear leg.
-Lower the heel of the moving foot after the toe is in a solid place.
-Shift your body's weight and balance to the forward foot before moving the rear foot.
-Take short steps to help maintain balance.
-At night, and when moving through dense vegetation, avoid making noise. Hold your weapon with one hand, and keep the other hand forward, feeling for obstructions.

Excessive use of military clothing is of personal preference but I'm of the mind that the more, the better...

Now what happens when you have to hit the ground? When going into a prone position, use the following techniques:

-Hold your rifle with one hand and crouch slowly.
-Feel for the ground with your free hand to make sure it is clear of mines, tripwires, and other hazards.
-Lower your knees, one at a time, until your body's weight is on both knees and your free hand.
-Shift your weight to your free hand and opposite knee.
-Raise your free leg up and back, and lower it gently to that side.
-Move the other leg into position the same way.
-Roll quietly into a prone position.

Yep, they're in the 'prone' position

Use the following techniques when crawling:

-Crawl on your hands and knees. Hold your rifle in your firing hand. Use your nonfiring hand to feel for and make clear spots for your hands and knees to move to.
-Move your hands and knees to those spots, and put them down softly.